


Behind it all

by Justaramdomwriter583



Category: Grey's Anatomy
Genre: AU, Child Abuse, F/F, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, I’m not a great writer so bear with me, Ok pretty dark, Rape/Non-con Elements, Suicide, Suicide Attempt, its kinda dark, loss of a loved one, loss of a parent, might be a crossover later
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-20
Updated: 2021-03-25
Packaged: 2021-03-28 04:54:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,248
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30134289
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Justaramdomwriter583/pseuds/Justaramdomwriter583
Summary: A pre-teen girl is now the newest doctor at Seattle Grace, navigating through work, friends grief and puberty, with the help of others this broken girl might just Survive
Relationships: Arizona Robbins/Callie Torres, Lexie Grey/Mark Sloan, Meredith Grey/Derek Shepherd, OFC/OFC
Comments: 1
Kudos: 3





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own greys anatomy all rights belong to ABC and Shonda Rhimes (except for OCs of course)A/N: so this is probably impossible but just go with it think Doogie Howser MD just in greys anatomy also Hate to disappoint but this fic is Izzie free so without further ado, I present chapter one

December 5th 2005

JJ woke up in a cold sweat her eyes darted around the room trying to comprehend where she was she quickly realized she was in her bedroom but she remained still and alert after confirming the there was to threat she hopped out of bed and headed towards her bathroom her alarm would not go off for about an hour so she took a very long and hot shower

45 minutes later she exited the bathroom and went to open her windows "oh great its raining" she said to herself though she usually loved the rain today she was hoping for some sunshine but then again this was Seattle she put on sweatpants and a hoodie before going out into the hall and heading for the elevator she walked into the gorgeous glass elevator and pressed the ground floor where the kitchen was she walked out and sighed hoping the Lillie would show up soon sure living in a giant mansion had many perks but waking up to a quiet and extremely echoey house was not one of them

She began making pancakes when she heard the front door open "I smell pancakes" Lillie sing-songed through the house Lillie was her best friend and usually slept over but last night she went home Lillie had been with JJ through everything and was the one person she felt comfortable around 100% of the time "yep I was up early and decided to make pancakes" JJ said flipping the last pancake she put all the pancakes on one big plate and grabbed the whipped cream and syrup Lillie had run upstairs to change and got back down just in time to eat they two girls sat down on the counter with their pancakes and two full-size cartons of orange juice they used to pour themselves glasses but they found it was easier to just drink straight from the cartons

"Drinking orange juice out of the carton sitting on the counter just hits different," Lillie said with her mouth full of food "yes, yes it does" JJ agreed

"so are you excited for your first day as a surgical intern"

"It not that big of a deal," JJ said nonchalantly

"Uh yes it is look at the newspaper today" Lillie pulled the newspaper out of the backpack and read the headline on the front page aloud "twelve-year-old super genius starts the first day of internship at Seattle grace hospital"

"Supergenius really"

"Dude your twelve TWELVE," Lillie said emphasizing the second twelve "you're like Doogie Howser in real life," she said shaking her friend

"if I had a dollar for every time I heard that I would be richer than I already am"

The girls finished breakfast and ran upstairs to change Lillie changed Into jeans and a hoodie and JJ put on the same knowing she would be in her scrubs soon and she put her hair into two French braids she could do braids very well and with her long brown hair is was the best option "alright I'll call us two cabs one to the hospital and one to your school" JJ said packing a small bag

at the hospital

JJ walked into the hospital her hospital this was the first time she walked in as an intern and not as the owner she had inherited the hospital when her father died but since she was still a minor someone else ran it but she was now emancipated which meant she was the legal owner of Seattle grace hospital very few people knew she was the owner because her job mainly Consists of paperwork and meetings and she planned to keep it a secret, the chief of surgery dr. Richard Webber made a whole speech about being doctors which JJ thought was very over the top then she met her resident Dr. Miranda Bailey and her fellow interns she made a few mental notes about each of them she had always been very observant and that combined with the ability to read emotions extremely well often caused her to freak people out when she knew so much about them

Meredith grey-daughter of Ellis grey, confident, and she seemed slightly more comfortable when she was by Jackson Avery

Jackson Avery- the grandson of Harper Avery, determined, protective of Meredith

George O'Malley-uneasy, nervous, and was slightly afraid of "the Nazi" (which was Bailey's nickname)

Christina yang-overconfident, independent, and seemed like she thought she was better than everyone

Alex Karev- Annoyed, alert, tried to have a tough demeanor but JJ saw right through that

The interns were headed to lunch after a long morning JJ had been up in PEDS and had scrubbed in on her first surgery when she had first got her lab coat it had said t owner of the hospital but she quickly asked for one that just said Seattle Grace so people didn't know she owned it her and her fellow interns sat down at a table in the cafeteria and made small talk JJ found out that Jackson and Meredith grew up together in Seattle and that Christina graduated top of her class at Stanford they got the topic of where they lived and they all admitted they were looking for somewhere to live so she said "well I'm looking for roommates if you want to stop by the house"

"I'm sure your parents would not appreciate you opening the house up to us," Meredith said

"My parents are not present" JJ responses slightly uncomfortable

"Well who do you live with," George asked looking concerned

"Oh I'm emancipated so I can live on my own"

"Why are you emancipated," Christina asked suddenly intrigued

"Yeah what happened to your parents" Alex added

"Dad dead, mom jail," JJ said coolly just then her pager went off and she got up to leave but before she did she added "you really should stop by the house Friday night" and she left as soon as the was out of sight she sprinted through the halls towards the elevator leaving a very confused group of interns sitting in the cafeteria she got in the elevator and pressed the top floor "Woah top floor that where all the offices are did you already get in trouble" JJ turned around and saw a blonde resident in the corner of the elevator "oh uh not sure I just got paged up there" the blonde nodded "Arizona Robbins 5th year resident PEDS and I'm assuming your dr, Jane," she said sticking out her hand JJ shook it "yep that's me"

"I saw you in the paper this morning and I must say I was very impressed"

"Oh thank you I had no idea it was going to be in the paper"

"How could it not be in the paper you a twelve-year-old girl that's a surgeon"

JJ just nodded and the elevator doors opened and Arizona started to walk out "well see you around and let me know if you find out who the owner is it's kind of a mystery" she chuckled and walked out of sight a few minutes later JJ found her self at the top floor and ran to her office and found Lillie laying on her couch

"Wait you paged me 911 to my office you don't even have a pager"

Lillie laughed and held up a pager "your front desk lady hooked me up now I can page you all the time"

"Aren't you supposed to be in school?" JJ said annoyed

"I got sent home sick"

"Your sick!"

"Oh relax it's just some pain and nausea"

"Wait where does it hurt" JJ asked and Lillie pointed to the spot right where her appendix was "right he..." Lillie screamed out in pain "oh my god let's get your downstairs" JJ picked up Lillie and carried her to the staff elevator they went down one floor to find a bed since her floor didn't have any she found the nearest gurney and laid her down she called a few nurses and they wheeled her back into the elevator and down to the PEDS floor

"JJ I think I'm dying!!" Lillie shouted reaching for JJs hand

"You're not dying your appendix burst your gonna need surgery"

"Can you do the sur- JESUS CHRIST" her question was cut off by a jolt of pain

"I can't do the surgery because I'm just an intern but I'll make sure you get the best"

The elevator doors opened and they rushed out

"I need some help over here!" She shouted and Arizona rushed over

"What happened," Arizona asked examining Lillie

"I think her appendix burst"

"I think your right well I'm going to need to take her into emergency surgery"

"Wait JJ will you go into surgery with me," Lillie asked frantically JJ looked her right in the eyes

"hey look at me you're going to be fine I'm sure Dr.Robbins is a great surgeon I'll be in the gallery the whole time"

"The whole time?"

"Yes the whole time"

"We need to get her to surgery," one of the nurses said

"Ok you're going to be fine"

"Ok I love you"

"I love you to Lillie"

They wheeled Lillie away leaving JJ alone in the exam room and although she remained calm for Lillie the truth was she was terrified she would Normally call the parents at this point but she was emancipated like her so all JJ could do is wait she went up to the gallery and Lillie was just about to go under Anesthesia she made eye contact with her and nodded three times that was enough for Lillie relax and a few moments later she was asleep JJ sat down and the rest of the interns walked in None of them knew that her best friend was on the table

"We got sent up here to watch a stupid appendectomy," Alex said annoyed

"George is doing it we are just being supportive," Meredith said sitting down

"GEORGE is doing it!!!" JJ yelled "oh my god oh my god"

"Dude you can't be that mad you didn't get the surgery," Christina said "I'm not even that mad"

"I'm not mad that I didn't get the surgery" JJ began pacing "that's my best friend on the table"

"I'm sure she'll be fine" Jackson Reassured her but she wasn't listening she was pacing back and forth muttering under her breath in French a few minutes later beeping monitors made her snap out of her trance JJ looked down at the O.R. Lillie was flatlining


	2. Chapter 2

Lillie was flatlining

JJ stood there frozen with her hand against the glass while the surgical team began to resuscitate Lillie after shocking her heart three times it began to beat on its own JJ collapsed into the nearest chair she knew she was about to have a panic attack but she had become so good at covering them up that the only person that could recognize them was Lillie and sometimes even she couldn't tell

JJ subconsciously rubbed her palms up and down her thighs slowly but firmly just enough to feel friction she did this for a few minutes before she realized that she was doing it so she placed her hands under her thighs to stop her from rubbing she sat there silently watching everything happening in the O.R.

About half an hour later the surgery was over and Lillie was wheeled into recovery and JJ sat down right by her bed taking Lillies hand in hers "she should wake up soon" Arizona said standing in the doorway

"I know" JJ whispered not taking her eyes off Lillie

"Hey you ok" Arizona was slightly concerned

"Yeah I'm fine" Arizona knew she wasn't but decided to not pry "ok we'll have someone page me when she wakes up" JJ just nodded and when Arizona left the room she Decided that after Lillie woke up she would go back to her Patients and visit Lillie every chance she had

1 hour later

"JJ" Lillie groaned sleepily JJs head shot up from her book

"Hey" JJ breathed Relieved

"Uh oh I know that face"

"What face"

"Then I am happy you're ok because I thought you weren't and I'm trying to cover it up face"

"I don't know what you're talking about," JJ said innocently

Lillie was about to ask what went wrong when Arizona walked in with Lillies chart "hello Ms.Lillie I'm Dr. Robbins your surgery went well you crashed once but we brought you back"

"Oh that's why you're making that face" Lillie realized

"Me?" Arizona asked confused

"No JJ" Lillie said pointing to her best friend who was very intently studying Lillies upper arm "Um JJ hello" Lillie waved her hand in front of her face

"How did you get this" JJ said referring to the very large Gash on Lillies arm

"Um I fell yeah I fell"

"You fell" JJ was not convinced

"Oh my that looks slightly infected," Arizona said leaning over to look "I'm gonna start you on antibiotics and wrap that up" and she left the room to go grab supplies

"How did you really get that"

"Like is said I fell"

"Off of what?"

"You know I love you right"

"What. Did. You. Do." JJ was getting angry already

"I might have sort of kinda just wanted to try the skateboard"

"LILLIE you got on my skateboard without someone there to help"

"Well I didn't plan on falling" Lillie defended

JJ threw her hands up "You're an idiot a complete idiot" Arizona had walked in at this point and began cleaning the wound "Can I ask what you fell onto"she was curious because even after working with kids for many years Arizona had never seen a cut like this

"Well I didn't really fall onto something," Lillie said nervously

"Oh my god you didn't" JJ shook her head and Lillie whispered "I did"

"Idiot I'm best friends with a complete idiot"

"Wait what did you do," Arizona asked unsurely

Lillie took a deep breath and started explaining "ok so JJ lives by a big hill and at the bottom of that hill there's a big hollowed out tree that's still standing and there's an opening that you can easily get through but as soon as you step into the tree there's a hole filled with sharp branches and leaves and so I decided to try to skateboard down the hill... alone but anyway long story short I fell in the hole and had to climb out and in the process cut my arm"

"Well I don't think that was the best idea" Arizona patted her leg then turned to JJ who was just shaking her head "now Dr.Jane will you be taking the day o-"

"NO, she's going back to work" Lillie cut her off

"I guess I'm going back to work" JJ stood up to leave "Lillie I'll visit you tonight when my shifts over" Lillie gave a thumbs up and asked "can you stop by the house and get my stuff please"

"Well your gonna be here for a while so I'll grab a few things" JJ left the room and Motioned for Arizona to follow she pulled for over to the nurse's station

"Now make her sleep she's not going to want to sleep but make her also if she has too much to drink she will throw up, with needles don't try to distract her let her watch she will say she's fine even if she isn't she likes to pick scabs to don't let her touch the incision talk to her like she's an adult because she legally is one me and shes emancipated music calms her down and if there's any change at all have someone page meri-"

"Dr. Jane!"

"What?"

"Your ranting"

"Sorry"

"No that's ok I get it your best friend almost died but I was afraid if you kept going I would get your whole life story" Arizona chuckled

"Oh I'm afraid that would take much more time then we have today" JJ walked to go back to work shocked that she wasn't paged in the past two hours she figured that people had heard what happened but she still expected Bailey to page her and tell her to get back to work

the rest of the day passed by very quickly and at 6 pm JJ was off work she ran up to her office to change clothes it would probably be less suspicious to change in the locker room but she felt too much more comfortable in her office

Her office was huge it was on the top floor of the hospital and had a beautiful view of downtown Seattle in the middle of the room there was a very large desk which she finds Lillie at a lot there's also a sitting area with a long couch and several chairs on the other sides there's a kitchenette with a fridge coffee maker microwave and a sink the office had floor to ceiling windows with curtains that were rarely closed you had to walk through the secretaries office to get to her which Was very convenient for when she didn't want to be bothered because all she had to do was tell miss Alice that she didn't want visitors and since everyone was kinda scared of miss Alice she never had any visitors JJ also has her bathroom it was quite big with three sinks and three stalls with toilets and two stalls without for changing and whatnot it also had a two-person shower that could probably fit many more it had a changing table a lot of counter space and a small bench if you need to wait

JJ thought the bathroom was very over the top considering it was attached to her office which meant she was the only one who ever used it but Right now she just needed to grab a few things from home and get back to Lillie so she grabbed her clothes and went into a changing stall she came out a flannel shirt with the sleeves rolled up to her elbows and just the front tucked into her jeans but she decided to tuck the shirt in all the way around on her way out she stopped by Alice's desk to drop off some files and went on her way she rode the staff elevator down to the ground floor went she remembered she hadn't called a taxi

"Damnit," JJ said digging through her purse for her phone

"Hey is somebody coming to pick you up" JJ turned around and saw a tall woman with beautiful red hair in scrubs

"Oh no I just forgot to call a cab" JJ laughed waving her phone though she had never met this woman she knew who she was she was her head OB-GYN and many people around the hospital seemed to love and respect

"Oh that's no fun Addison Montgomery by the way," Addie said sticking out her hand "and I promise I'm not a creepy stalker or anything but I can drive you home if you need" JJ assumed that Addison knew who she was and considered the offer she would usually never ride with someone she had just met but she was in a hurry

"I mean my house is not far and if you really don't mind," JJ said as she shook Addison's hand

"I really don't mind besides I'm heading out anyway"

"Yeah ok I got to come back afterward to visit my friend but I can just call a cab"

"Don't be ridiculous I can drive you back as well" Addison offered she didn't like the idea of a twelve-year-old riding alone in a taxi

"That would be great but you really don't have to"

"No, it's totally fine to let me just grab my keys" Addison pulled her keys out of her purse and the two walked out onto the parking lot the ride was not awkward at all the two women made conversation about medicine music and weird injuries Addison told JJ about the time she tripped over her own feet and broke her jaw and JJ told her about the time she broke her wrist and didn't tell anyone until she woke up and could see her bone

"Take this next turn" JJ directed

They turned and drove up the steep hill and JJ saw the tree Lillie fell into "My house is the first one on the right" Addison pulled into the driveway and her jaw dropped in front of her was a giant Manson and when I say giant I mean huge like completely enormous

The front was white with gold accents two beautiful front doors and large windows all over the house looked like it was at least 5 stories tall and had a gorgeous front yard the driveway went on the right side of the house to what Addison assumed was a garage

JJ looked at Addison and laughed "that's how most people react"

"Well I didn't expect to pull into a giant house how big is it anyway" Addison could usually guess how big a house is but with this one she had no idea

"170,000 Square feet second biggest in the Country" JJ beamed "how about we go inside"

And the two went in the house "oh my god" Addison whispered as they stepped into the house as soon as you walk In you find yourself in a ginormous Beautiful white room with gorgeous gold stairs around a glass elevator on either side of the room there was a doorway the size of double doors and two of the same size doorways on the back

"Now I need to run upstairs to grab some things for Lillie you can come with me if you want" JJ offered Addison nodded still amazed by everything around her

"Now I come from money but this is just crazy," she said as they stepped onto the elevator

"I know it's crazy and it's just me living here so it all seems really over the top" JJ replied pushing the 5th floor where the master bedroom is

"Just you where are your parents"

"Dead and in jail plus I'm emancipated so I'm allowed to live alone"

"Oh I didn't know," Addie said sympathetically JJ hated sympathy but ignored it

"No it's totally fine I don't go around telling people but I don't hide it either" the elevator doors opened and the two walked out there were three hallways and JJ walked down the middle one to the end and Opened her door to reveal and large bedroom with a balcony and its own bathroom in the middle of the room was a king-size bed with nightstands on both sides next to both nightstands were bookshelves filled with many books and in the closest left corner the was a door to a walk-in closet also on the left side were sliding doors out to the balcony in the closest right corner there was a sitting area with several couches and chairs and also on the right side was the door to the bathroom

Addison looked around while JJ went into her closet and came out with a duffel bag and walked around the room grabbing two blankets a few pairs of socks and some clothes along with a couple of things from around her room and her bathroom

"I've got all I need if you're ready to go," JJ asked and Addison nodded and the two went back to the hospital

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I hope you enjoyed this chapter I'm not sure how I feel about it but let me know how you feel Also, Side-note Addison and Derek are not married in this fic but he is married to someone DUH DUH DUUUUUH


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: this chapter and most of the ones following it has mentions of child abuse of the sexual physical and mental nature

"Lillie I'm back" JJ carried the duffel bag into the room and set it on the floor "how are you feeling" Lillie just groaned in response she was still in a lot of pain from the surgery JJ rubbed her back comfortingly before reaching into the bag and pulling out Lillies favorite blanket Lillie gasped and grabbed the blanket immediately wrapping herself up in it JJ smiled at her remembering how she got that blanket

"we're officially emancipated," an eleven-year-old Lillie said bouncing on the balls of her feet

"Yes, yes we are" JJ Sighed sitting on the bench outside the courthouse

"Oh come on you have to be just a little excited"

"Your right wallowing in self-pity isn't going to do me any good" just then JJ had an idea "hey how about we go shopping to celebrate"

"Oh that's a great idea can we get ice cream to"

"We Can do whatever we want"

The girls shopped the rest of the day and it was getting dark to they went to one last store carrying tons of bags with them it was a small family-owned shop with small decorations and throw pillows JJ and Lillie looked around and planned to buy a few things when the came across the blankets they were the softest they ever felt and knew they had to get one Lillie grabbed a yellow one and JJ grabbed a green one they checked out and headed home and it was good they were home because it started storming like Crazy and the two piled up in JJ's bed and watched lion king wrapped in their new blankets every day since the girls sleep with those blankets

JJ sighed Lillie was always there even though the worst times "I've got about two hours of paperwork So I'm going to go do that why don't you sleep while I'm gone"

"I guess some sleep would do me good"

JJ stood up "have a nurse page me if you need anything"

"I will" and JJ left the room to go to her office

3 hours later

it was now 10 pm JJ's paperwork took way longer then she anticipated and she was now heading back down to Lillies room when she walked in the light was off and Lillie was asleep she climbed into the chair beside the bed and pulled her knees to her chest wrapped her arms around her legs and rested her chin on her knees to anyone else she would have looked calm almost peaceful but on the inside, she was playing every scenario that could have happened today she hadn't slowed down all day she couldn't Give herself time to think about what had happened but not she was sitting in a dark quiet room with nothing to distract her breathing increased slightly

Almost like she could sense it Lillie woke up slightly and without saying a word she scooted over on the bed and patted the spot next to her JJ looked at her and climbed into the bed the snuggled close together and fell asleep

Arizona and a few interns walked in to round on Lillie one of the interns started to talk but was shushed by Arizona

"Look" she whispered pointing to the bed the two girls were still snuggled close together and Lillie was holding a blanket close to her face "we can come back later I don't want to wake them up" Arizona knew Lillie needed sleep but she had been refusing to but with JJ she slept like a baby

"Aww that's so cute," one of her interns said all of the sudden Lillies started thrashing around like she was having a nightmare Arizona motioned for the interns to leave and turned back around to the bed JJ had woken up slightly and pulled the still asleep Lillie close and wrapped her arms around her trying to calm her Lillie calmed almost Instantly at her touch

"That's probably why she didn't want to sleep," Arizona thought to herself she left the room leaving Lillie and JJ asleep

Friday, December 9th, 2005

Lillie was out of the hospital and staying at JJs house, JJ was at work

JJ walked out of the locker room in fresh Scrubs she had to change after her last patient got blood all over her

All of a sudden she felt an emergent Urge to barf she ran into the nearest bathroom and an overwhelming smell of vomit filled her nostrils which definitely didn't help there were doctors lined up against the bathroom wall holding trashcans and all the stalls were filled with more sick people JJ ran into an empty patient room and grabbed several trashcans she ran back into the bathroom and proceeded to empty all the contents of her stomach she slid down the wall holding on to the trashcan for dear life she continued throwing up and more people came into the bathroom soon there was very little room for people to sit it was just a room full of dry heaving doctors

JJ was extremely weak and Leaned to the side and rested her head on the shoulder of whoever was next to her she had no idea who it was but the person didn't seem to mind the just rested their head on top of JJs head JJ was surprised by this because she knew very few people in the hospital and it's weird to rest your head on someone you don't know she looked up slightly and saw the head of cardio teddy Altman she hadn't met the women yet because she had only been on PEDS and trauma but right now she didn't care if she knew her because teddy was providing a small amount of comfort and that was just what she needed

JJ closed her eyes trying to ignore the pounding in her head that was a bad idea because all the memories came flooding back

"Julia Jane hart get her ass in here right now!!"

JJ jumped up from the front steps of the house and ran inside she felt a painful burn on her thigh and looked down so see her mother holding her burning cigarette on her leg JJ blinked back the tears threatening to fall she knew if she cried she would get beat worse

"Get upstairs NOW!!" Her mother screamed JJ ran upstairs to her room it wasn't her room more like her prison her mother wasps close behind with a jar of cigarette butts "here's your dinner" Mrs.hart smirked JJ slowly took the jar and began eating the cigarette butts they were the grossest thing she had ever tasted but she knew better than to complain

After she was done she was shoved into her cage with the gate locked as her mother left the room she vomited almost immediately she couldn't leave the cage so that's how she slept they night covered in vomit and a very thin sheet

JJ grimaced at the memory she had been seven years old still living in New York when that happened that night was when she realized her mother didn't care about her she had been holding into the smallest bit of hope but that day she knew her mother didn't want her and only cared about herself

JJ threw up again but this time she felt a comforting hand on her back she looked back at teddy and opened her mouth to say thank you but no words came out teddy just smiled weakly and said "we're all in this together" JJ put her head in her shoulder again and sat there for a few moments before Dr. Bailey burst into the bathroom

"What the hell is going on in here" Dr. Bailey questioned

"I think we all got food poisoning from the cafeteria," someone from the other room said with her head still in the toilet "well I can see that but why are you all in the hospital bathroom and not at home"

"Home that's a good idea," another voice said slightly delirious

JJ stood up to leave and swayed to the side catching herself on the wall she decided standing up was a bad idea so she sat back on the floor and pulled her phone out of her pocket to call a cab after she called a cab she called Lillie

"JJ why are you calling me again I told you I'm fine"

"No I know your fine but I think I've got food poisoning so I'm heading home now"

"Oof that's not good I'll grab the ice cream apple juice and pull up a true crime show for when you get home"

"That sounds great but I don't think I can keep food down"

"Well if you can't I'll hold back your hair"

"This is why we're friends I've gotta grab my stuff then I'm taking a cab home"

"Ok I love you"

"Love you too"

"Was that your mom" teddy asked still sitting beside her

"No, actually that was my best friend Lillie"

"Wait that girl I always see around the hospital "

"Yeah" JJ sighed Lillie was at the hospital all the time especially in the summer and JJ gave her permission to go anywhere even observation rooms above the O.R. And If anyone asked why she was allowed Lillie just said she has permission from the owner

JJ said goodbye to teddy and went to the locker room still extremely nauseous she grabbed her things and called her secretary to let her know she would be out for a couple of days and to cancel her meetings she was ok the way outside when she was stopped by Meredith who said her and the other interns decided to take JJ up on her Housing offer JJ told her they can stop by in a few days to look at the house

She ran outside to where her cab was waiting for her and headed home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so just wanted to let you know this is also posted on ff.net under the same title there are currently 14 chapters but I’m uploading on here about once a day till I do all 14 
> 
> Also the first few chapters are pretty rough but I promise my writing gets better as we go along so please stick around


	4. Chapter 4

Her driver pulled into the driveway and JJ ran inside she threw her stuff on the floor and ran through the kitchen to the bathroom and dropped to her knees in front of the toilet and threw up

JJ heard footsteps outside the bathroom and Lillie walked into the room and sat down beside her rubbing her back and JJ rested her head on the toilet seat

"Hey you know what this reminds me of" Lillie chuckled

"Don't say it does not say it"

"Say what that this reminds me of Disney land"

JJ groaned that trip was the first she took after being emancipated and it was fun until it wasn't but I won't get into that JJ shifted off the toilet and rested her head in Lillies lap Lillie just stroked her hair and waited for her to fall asleep

After JJ fell asleep Lillie scooped her up in her arms to carry her upstairs the girls were almost the same size and both worked out regularly so carrying JJ wasn't a problem was it the best choice after surgery probably not but Lillie Knew JJ would regret sleeping on the floor she walked into the elevator still carrying JJ and headed up to the floor with their room

Lillie opened the door to the master bedroom and set JJ down on the bed she then climbed into the bed herself

Monday, December 12th, 2005 11:30 on

it was the interns day off but JJ still came into work and stayed In her office to catch up on paperwork she was finally done and was walked Into the elevator with teddy Addison and Arizona

"Doctors" she nodded standing in the corner

"Dr. Jane" Addison replied

"Shouldn't you be out it's the interns day off" Arizona asked JJ

JJ panicked slightly it was the interns day off and she should have been home if she was just an intern but nay someone decided to almost kill a patient which lead to mountains of paperwork but she couldn't tell them that and she was in street clothes so she couldn't say she got called in

"Um visiting a family friend"

They seemed to buy it

All the sudden the elevator came to an abrupt stop sending teddy and Arizona to the floor and the lights going out "I think we might be stuck" Arizona said pulling herself up trying to walk into a wall or hit her head "well no shit Sherlock" teddy said annoyed also standing up "the emergency lights should come on soon" JJ said sliding down to the floor in a corner she knew how long these things usually take and if it was anything like the last time she was stuck in this elevator they would be there for a long time a small light turned on allowing them to see just a little

They each sat down in their corner and became talking about many things teddys boyfriend Henry Arizona's recent breakup and Addisons friend drama

"God I need new friends," addi said

"Yeah you really do" Arizona and teddy agreed

While all this was happening JJ curled up in a ball and put on her noise-canceling headphones to block out some of the sounds she was diagnosed with Aspergers and ADHD when she was five so she always carried headphones with her soon she fell asleep right on the floor the others didn't notice this until JJ started thrashing around and mumbled something like "don't do it please don't do it"

They looked at each other concerned they didn't know what to do but the girl was clearly having some kind of nightmare

"What should we do," teddy asked

"I don't know should we wake her up Arizona you work with kids what do we do" Addison was slightly panicked

"Well normally the parents would deal with this kind of stuff" Arizona added scooting towards JJ Arizona shook her a little hoping to gently wake her up but JJ didn't budge Arizona moved the girl till JJs head was resting in her lap JJ calmed down a little bit out was still moving around a lot if only Arizona knew what she was dreaming about

JJs dream

"Dad we're home" a ten-year-old JJ shouted through the house her mother was gone for the weekend which met for two whole days she could sleep in a real bed and not get beaten

JJ ran to the elevator so go up to her parent's room when she got to the room what she saw shocked her

Her father had a gun to his head and his finger on the trigger ready to shoot his eyes had a glazed over look that JJ had never seen before

"Dad what are you doing," JJ said approaching him slowly of course JJ knew exactly what he was doing

"Go away Julia" he whispered

"Dad please don't do it"

"Go away"

"Don't do it please don't do it"

"I love you and I love jay too"

"Daddy no I love you please stay"

"Goodbye"

And he pulled the trigger

"DADDY NO" but it was too late JJ watched as her father fell to the floor and all warmth run out of his body she tried her best to stop the bleeding she was a med student after all but he was too far gone

JJ shot up from where she was laying on Arizona's lap desperately trying to catch her breath she was faintly aware of the voices around her but she was still caught up in the flashback she rummages through her bag before she found what she was looking for she pulled out a small red panda trinket that her father had given to her and held it close to her chest that was one of the only things she had left of him

It was at this moment when she became aware of the others in the elevator they were staring at her with faces of concern and confusion


	5. Chapter 5

JJ opened her mouth to explain but no words came out, she couldn't believe that they had just seen her have a nightmare, she knew she should not have fallen asleep, nightmares were pretty much a daily thing now and, after having one she could never go back to sleep

Teddy looked at Arizona and Addison then back at the flustered JJ "so um what was that" she asked softly JJ went to answer, but luckily the elevator doors opened and JJ grabbed her stuff and ran out of the elevator without saying a word and went back home

"Lillie I'm home" JJ shouted Coming into the house "Lillie where are you" she tried again JJ heard a crash come from the living room so she ran behind the stairs into her ballroom well that's what she called it because when her family first moved to the house there was no furniture so it looked like a ballroom and just kinda stuck Lillie was looking through a box and jumped when she heard JJ come up behind her "oh JJ your finally home what took you so long"

"It's a long story," JJ said plopping onto the nearest couch Lillie nodded

"So I got all the Christmas stuff out and I was going to wait on you buuuuut I couldn't," Lillie said sitting beside her

"Well you know the others are coming for dinner and to look at the house so do you think we can get this all done by seven"

"That what like 5 hours there's no way we can do that" Lillie scoffed

"Your probably right so how about I go change and we go down and get a real Christmas tree and we'll decorate the house tonight and I don't have work tomorrow if we don't finish"

"Works for me"

Several minutes later JJ came downstairs in jeans a long sleeve University of Washington shirt and her leather jacket Lillie rolled her eyes JJ rarely left the house without that jacket "uncle Jims here with his truck" uncle Jim is what they called an old man who lived right next to them he was so sweet and loved driving around the girls

They climbed into his truck and drove for about an hour and a half before pulling into a farm with a big field of Christmas trees they ran to the field and of course picked the biggest tree they could find the owner chopped it down and loaded it into uncle Jim's truck when they got home he helped the girls get the tree up in the ballroom and went on his way

"Oh shit we should probably start cooking" JJ laughed while watching Lillie do her best Donald Duck impression "yeah probably" and the two ran off to the kitchen about an hour later all the food was ready meanwhile outside

"there's no way this is her house," Meredith said

"Are you sure this is the rights address" Jackson added

"Yes this is what she said" Alex was getting annoyed

"Well if it's not we can just call her" George decided

"Oh my gosh you are all wimps" Christina walked up to the double doors and rang the doorbell after a moment Lillie opened the door and greeted them "oh good y'all are here one second please JJ THEY'RE HERE" there was a silence before JJ walked up "oh hey please come in and excuse the mess we're in the middle of putting out the Christmas stuff"

The seven people ate dinner which wasn't awkward at all I mean they were still in shock from the size of the house after supper JJ took them on a tour of the house

She first showed them around the ground floor with the kitchen ballroom entry room and an indoor pool area they then got in the elevator and went down to the basement the basement was a game area with a bowling alley ski ball pool table air hockey a movie theater and many other things

They then went up to the first floor it was one big room with hardwood floors and windows on some walls and mirrors on the others also there were many bathrooms on every floor

On the second floor there was another smaller kitchen and several bedrooms Lillie likes to call that the "marital strife" floor you could live on that floor and never see anyone else

The third floor had rooms made into various things offices living areas etc

The fourth and fifth floors were identical with three hallways full of bedrooms and bathrooms when they came across two locked doors JJ gave very strict instructions that no one was to ever open those doors at the end of one of the hallways There was a room that in one half looked like the resident's lounge with cubby's while the other half looked like a supply closet with all kinds of medical supplies

JJ didn't take them up to the sixth floor because that was her space to matter how many people lived there no one was allowed up there not even Lillie

They then went outside to the backyard the yard was huge with a ginormous pool a playground treehouse trampoline basketball court there was also an outdoor dining area the dining area also had hammocks

They all discussed when they would move in and decided they would move In that Saturday Jackson Meredith Alex Christina and George left leaving Lillie and JJ to finish decorating

"Well dinner went well" Lillie yawned

"Yes it did" JJ was equally exhausted

"Hey JJ I have a question and I know you'll probably say yes so I don't know why I'm nervous..."

"You can move in Lillie"

"I didn't even finish"

"I knew you were going to ask"

"But how"

"It's a special skill of mine besides you basically live here already and I actually have something I need to tell you too," JJ told Lillie about what happened in the elevator and Lillie was concerned she knew JJ would try to keep her past hidden forever the two girls laid on the couch for a few minutes before they decided to start decorating again

JJ hooked up the speakers that Lillie could never quite figure out how to start and blasted Christmas music through the house they started on the ground floor switching out pillows putting up lights decorating the tree after the finished that floor it was almost midnight so they ran up to JJ room to put on their pajamas then climbed into the bed and talked for a while deciding that Lillie would move In tomorrow then went to bed

JJ woke up the next morning to find the bed empty beside her confused she got up and checked the bathroom but Lillie she wasn't in there so she went downstairs she wasn't in the kitchen so she ran across the to the living room nope not in there just then she Heard a splash JJ chuckled, of course, that's where she is

"Lillie there you are" she breathed her walking into the indoor pool area

"Oh hey," Lillie said coming out from under the water "I was going to wake you up but you just looked so peaceful"

JJ smiled and helped Lillie out of the pool somehow remaining dry in the process

"Well I appreciate you letting me sleep now I'm hungry and your wet so go Change and I'll order food"

Lillie went to the changing rooms by the pools and JJ ordered breakfast a few minutes later Lillie came out dry and in fresh clothes just as the food was arriving they sat down in the backyard and ate together and Lillie said her stuff was being dropped off soon

They heard the doorbell ring so JJ ran to open the door it was the movers she told them to move all the boxes up to the fifth floor and went to get Lillie "hey your movers are here I just told them to put all the stuff on the fifth floor" Lillie grinned and jumped up to Direct the movers almost falling in the process they ended up just putting the stuff in the hallway since Lillie hadn't picked a room yet

"Ok So which room do you want or you can just share a room with me I don't care," JJ asked sitting on top of the boxes

"Um I think I'll just take this room," Lillie said pointing to the room across the hall from JJs "but don't be surprised If I end up in your bed some nights"

"Oh no I expect for us to end up sleeping together most nights"

"honestly me too"

JJ started moving furniture into the bedroom while Lillie got some of the boxes after it was all In the room they started arranging it all pushing the furniture wasn't hard cause it was hardwood getting the rug underneath was the hard part after a couple of tries all the furniture was arranged and Lillie was unpacking (although most of her stuff was already at JJs)

"God why do you have so many shoes" JJ exclaimed organizing Lillies closet

"Because shoes are awesome, duh"

The rest of the day was spent unpacking decorating for Christmas and belting Christmas music at the top of there lungs at the end of the day they collapsed onto the floor "why do I have such a big house" JJ said trying to catch her breath Lillie smirked "so we can do this"

The took a deep breath and screamed at the top of their lungs the scream subsides into hysterical laughter

Maybe things are getting better JJ thought to herself it was moments she like these she had learned to cherish most

**Author's Note:**

> so what did y'all think, writing this I didn't like it and I rely on reviews so please point out anything I could improve


End file.
